When the researchers looked at kids who said their parents strongly disapproved of them having sex, those who watched more than two hours of television a day were 70 percent more likely to have sex. And if sex-disapproving parents didn't monitor their teens' TV viewing, more than two hours a day of TV upped a teen's odds of sexual initiation by 250 percent. The question people are looking for would be how could the government stop the media from promoting these types of things. The government and parents should control the amount of TV usage between kids and teens. The media also should block TV shows that view bad behavior and other things that can cause corruption the teens minds. The public could even help by educating others of having a better understanding the nature of depression. By having these understandings should increase the tolerance and could decrease the ordinary feelings of unhappiness. The public could play a major role in someone's ability to carry on with their enjoyable lives. In other words if these procedures it would decrease the percentages to zero and help people to have a better life style.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Risky Business DRAFT essay
Depression could become an everyday problem in teen's, adult's, and even children's lives. Depression described as a mood disorder or feeling such as sadness, anger, frustration, miserable or just down in the dumps. Some type of depression runs in families and also can occur if you have no family history of this illness. No one knows the exact cause but researchers believe is that it is caused by chemical changes in the brain, genes or triggered by certain stressful events, but its more likely to be a combination of both. Still other things play a role in depression such as alcohol or drug abuse, certain medical conditions, break ups with relationships and many more. One of the biggest problems would be the media influence because certain TV shows promote aggressive violent behavior, drug usage and sexual initiations to teens. 15 new studies link exposure to media images with a broad range of negative health, behavior and lifestyle issues in children and teens causing obesity and social isolation. Overall, those who watched more than two hours of television a day were 35 percent more likely to have had sex. But this much television had much greater effects on some kids.
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Branson! --
ReplyDeleteWhile I can see that you have a definite amount of research, you have to make sure that you have a clear position statement that shows your argumentative view on the topic. Your position statement will help to build the rest of your essay too! Make sure that with every fact that you put in, you include how it relates to your topic, and what the fact/statistic proves to support your position. This way, your paper transforms from informative to argumentative. Especially in the middle of your essay, it becomes really unclear what the essay is exactly about. I can tell how someone could relate that to the cause of depression, but I only make that connection because I know what your position is. Make sure you constantly remind your readers of YOUR position! :) Also, remember that you have to include an opposing side (with information and reasoning from that side) as well as A LOT of support to counteract the opposing statement. I can't wait to see the final!
-Leah
Hey Branson!
ReplyDeleteYou only have 2 paragraphs. Usually an essay is more than that. Try to make your essay flow. Your second paragraph is off topic from your first. Talking about the government stopping it was irrelevant. You need your intro. State your thesis and and show which side you're on so the readers know what your essay is about. We worked on your thesis in class. USE THAT THESIS. You also need more detail. Re-read what you wrote. Most of it doesn't really make sense. You need to also have your first body paragraph as a view of the opposing view then your second and third body will be defending your position. Just make your position clear so the readers can tell which side you're on.